Vegetarians, a funny bunch some would have you think. Born with incisors and flesh tearing teeth, it is surely natural to eat meat, the lord did offer us dominion over the land and sea animals yes? Or no, I am perhaps not the best person to ask.
I stopped eating meat shortly after watching a documentary called 'Home' where it broke down the amount of grains grown for cattle, how cattle was transported etc, and the presence of a school friend who is vegetarian who every now and then would open up my eyes to another ridiculous aspect of farming. I decided I had had enough.
Some vegetarians do not eat meat due to cruelty to the animals going the whole hog (no puns intended) and do not consume or wear anything to do with animals. I had just had enough of the bull, so to speak.
I am not going to debate the rights or wrongs of eating meat, rather highlight some of the funnier things that happen when out ordering food or eating in general in this world of meat eaters.
Most recently I was sat at a table in Nando's with a group of people all ordering chicken, hot Peri Peri sauces, corn on the cob, double coleslaw etc, it was a beautiful scene....right up until I asked for a "mushroom halloumi wrap". The mood changed and I could have been mistaken for feeling like I had been dumped in the middle of a spaghetti western. The music stopped, someone coughed and a woman fainted before someone muttered "god damn man" though what the man in the sky has to say about my abstention from meat I do not know but if he wants to ask he can join the back of the line.
The music resumed and everyone carried on, not the first time I've been sat in Nando's and bamboozled the person sat opposite me as they ordered half a chicken and I whispered something along the lines of "I'll just have a salad" then proceeding to chew on my leaves to a surprised audience. It seems as if too many movies may have convinced some people I would rather have fried chicken and water melon over a good old Mediterranean vegetable mix or salad.
Waiters/waitresses also make me chuckle, particularly if you are with a lady when ordering your food, for when they return with your meal they automatically try to offer the leaf mix salad or meatless option to the lady, not even remotely considering the man sat at the table may be the herbivore, because men eat meat.
Soccer AMs 'something for the men' meat video must have done it's job and done it well.
Before I move on if anyone at this point is feeling offended I again point you in the direction of the classy Australian comic 'Steve Hughes' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pjrVohm2nE) you will not get leprosy.
Eating in groups, another challenge, particularly when working with fifteen hungry men halfway through a night shift. The menu usually reads 'chicken or mince'.
You would go in, work away and sit down to a quick bite that had been rustled up by the mess manager who has taken the extra time needed to knock me up something slightly different to the rest of the troops. It was not always this way however as 'lasagne gate' showed when they had forgotten I was eating one night and I was left with a beef lasagna to "pick the beef out of". My revenge was sweet as on my turn to feed them there was not a morsel of meat in site.
Having been veggie now for near on four years I simply forget to inform people that I do not eat meat which is fine....until someone offers to cook you a dinner on a date and you forget to mention you don't eat meat and your first mouthful you are pretty sure you are tucking into pork filled pasta. Yum. Not so bad, but then in the years leading up to my journey away from meat, pork was way down on the list of meats to eat. In the interest of not wanting to ruin the occasion I just had to... keep calm, and carry on.
The variety in vegetarian foods is starting to increase with some vegetarian restaurants opening up over London. Gone are the days when your choice was salad, with or without a jacket potato cheese and/or beans, today you will now likely get the odd quorn meal or tofu curry etc. Supermarkets too have moved a long way from the questionable flavours of the cardboard tasting Linda McCartney selection but it is a heavy price to pay.
If you think meat is expensive wait until you have to cook for a veggie.
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